How to Plan a Wedding

Congratulations! You’re engaged! And if you’re reading this, then you’re probably thinking ‘oh my word, where do we start?!’ Have no fear! I’m here to help and share what I’ve learned as both a bride, and a wedding photographer to change the ‘AHHH!’ into ‘Ohhhh!’

Planning your wedding should be the most exciting time in your life, it’s only natural to stress and fret about the overwhelming road ahead, but I’m here to show you how to plan your wedding from start to finish (and maybe share a few other tips and tricks too!)

I link to everything I talk about, and all links open in a new tab, so don’t worry about losing your place!

Ready? We’ve got this!

Who is Aimee and what does she know?

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, I’m Aimee Lince, professional third-wheel, at your service!

I’ve held the hands of many brides and grooms on their journey to “I do” (metaphorically, not literally, that’d be a bit weird.)

I don’t just pop in, get a few photos and go home. I’m there with you throughout the planning process and I’m there all day on the day! I’ve seen many weddings unfold so I wanted to make this guide to share what I’ve learned.

I always encourage my couples to lean on me throughout their entire journey and many of them do! I get asked all sorts of things from ‘is it weird for a bride to dance with her father?’ (Absolutely not) and ‘Do the bridesmaids need to have matching pyjamas?’ (Again, absolutely not!)

I’ve seen it all, cake tiers making a run for it, emergency tampon scavenger hunts, confetti cannons being fired backwards into the handler’s crotch, you name it! So I thought I’d put together an all in one guide for future newlyweds to keep handy, even if you choose someone else to capture your big day (#sadface).

A few quick facts

Based on a 2022 newlywed survey

1. 39% of couples spend between 12-24 months planning their wedding.

2. The most popular months to get married are August & September.

3. Couples hire an average of 10 different vendors for their wedding.

Shaping your theme

Before you start shopping for bridesmaid dresses or committing to a venue, it’s really important that you are totally in love with your theme and that all of the upcoming important decisions you’ll make can do it justice!

Creating a mood board is a great place to begin (especially if you’re uncertain on what you’d like!)

Tip #1: I highly recommend making a Pinterest account as it’s a great place to source ideas, when you see something you like simply ‘pin it’ to your virtual mood board. You can also upload your own pins, so if you see something in a magazine or a shop, snap a quick pic and add it to the board!

Tip #2: If you’re contemplating several themes, make a board for each theme! You’ll soon realise which of the boards you are naturally drawn to the most.

Tip #3: Use keywords in your search, if you’re considering an Autumnal themed wedding, try ‘autumnal themed wedding cakes’ or ‘Autumn wedding inspiration’

Take a look at this example woodland themed wedding mood board I’ve put together just for you!

How to choose a wedding venue

Now that you have an idea of the theme and feel you’re going for, it’s time to scout some venues!

I’m 99% sure your venue is going to be the single biggest expense of your wedding. Your venue is where you, your families and friends will share this wonderful occasion together.

It’s a great idea to browse as many as you can, and schedule a visit to the ones that make you feel ‘WOW!’ while looking at their websites or social pages.

When you go, you’ll meet with the venue’s extremely helpful wedding planner whom I’m sure will be thrilled to show you around and answer any questions you may have. It’s like when you’re looking for a new home, if you find the one, you’ll know.

Venue tips

Tip #1 While looking around, hold your partner’s hand, if you think the venue is ‘the one’, give their hand two gentle squeezes (so they know you didn’t squeeze by accident!) If they give you two squeezes back, they love it too, if they give one squeeze, they’re saying ‘it’s nice, but I want to discuss it first’ and if they don’t squeeze back, then well, onto the next place!

Tip #2 Ask for a brochure from each venue, that way you’ll have a handy guide and a pricing list for each of the places you’ve visited! You can even add your own notes to them.

Tip #3 Take a look at their social media pages for photos of other couples, can you picture yourselves there on your big day? Does the space compliment your theme?

Questions to ask potential venues

How many guests can you accommodate for? (Ceremony, wedding breakfast & evening reception)

Can you show us the photograph locations? Is there a back-up location in case it rains?

Do you have children’s, vegan and vegetarian menu options?

Is catering included? Is it priced per head or packages?

Would you allow us to have fireworks/sparklers on the grounds?

Local legends (venues)

Stallingborough Grange Hotel

“Timeless glamour combines with modern luxury at Stallingborough Grange. For over 30 years, we’ve been renowned for hosting elegant parties, wonderful weddings and extravagant events surrounded by the stunning Lincolnshire countryside. Untouched by time, Stallingborough Grange is one of Lincolnshire’s most prestigious venues, specialising in crafting unforgettable days.”

Wootton Hall Estate

“At the heart of your unique wedding is a special couple perfect for each other and we pride ourselves as a private country home that will guarantee you and your partner ultimate exclusivity.”

Hirst Priory

“A distinctly different wedding and events centre incorporating regal charm and modern magic.”

The Ashbourne Hotel

“The Ashbourne is a luxurious venue for any wedding; the Oak Room provides an ideal backdrop for a bride’s big day – stunning oak beams, tasteful yet neutral décor, glitzy chandeliers and a stylish, private bar. Not only this but with 36 guest bedrooms, ample free car parking, a perfectly designed courtyard to relax in, plus a fabulous bistro serving freshly cooked seasonal dishes, it’s an ideal place for far-flung relatives to make a weekend of it prior to the wedding.”

Hall Farm Hotel

“We have catered for wedding receptions since 1992, and have always been complimented on our standard of personal service and excellent culinary abilities.”

How to choose a wedding date

How to plan your wedding ceremony

What are we thinking? Church ceremony with lots of hymns? An outdoor ceremony with a really personal service? Or all under one roof with a council registrar? The choice really is up to you!

Religious Ceremonies

You’ll meet with the relevant officiant for your religion and chosen church who will go through the religious ceremony with you, offering you choices where relevant (such as which hymns you’d like or whether you’d like church bells ringing as you exit). You’ll also have to have your banns read (Church of England) but the church kindly take care of that for you and invite you to attend the 3-6 Sunday services where they are read starting 3 months before the wedding.

Civil Ceremonies

You can have a civil ceremony at a registry office or any other venue approved by the local council for that venue. For example, if you live in Immingham but you want to get married in Scunthorpe, you will need to make arrangements with the Scunthorpe Registry Office. A civil ceremony will give you the option to write your own vows and read them before you choose the version of the official vows you would like. They will also permit readings, but they need to approve the content beforehand!

Private Celebrants

You can choose to hire any professional celebrant for your wedding ceremony. I highly recommend Dawn Kemp, whom I know tailors every single aspect of your ceremony so it just screams your personalities!

How to write a wedding guest list

This doesn’t need to be finalised yet! But you should absolutely have a rough idea on your numbers before moving onto your budget and venue plan.

1. The wedding party

(and I don’t mean the food and booze!) – I’m talking about bridesmaids, groomsmen, page boys, flower girls, best men/women, maids of honour, parents and witnesses.

2. The ‘must haves’

These are the people you absolutely cannot imagine your wedding day without (that aren’t already listed above!). This also includes the parents of any little ones in the wedding party list above.

3. The ‘want to haves’

This bit may sound a little harsh, but this section is for the people who you really want to have there providing the budget permits it. Many people choose to invite these people to the evening reception only, others budget to invite everyone to the full day!

How to set your wedding budget

I know, it’s an icky subject, but it’s really important to discuss this with your partner and set realistic expectations to avoid unnecessary stress later on. Some people take out loans to comfortably repay over time, others prefer to save up and then book, some work overtime and others look at the amount they can save each month and calculate how much they can afford over various timeframes.

It’s hard knowing exactly how much you’re going to need for your dream wedding, but this is why I mentioned earlier that your venue is going to be the most expensive part!

It’s important to remember that your wedding day is about what makes you happy, not about how much you spend! No one is going to mind whether the groom’s suit was hired or how much your rings cost, but they will remember the emotion, the food, the booze and the good times!

Again, these figures are from the Hitched 2022 newlywed survey.

Average costs across the UK

Venue: £8,400

Wedding dress: £1,350

Photographer: £1,300

Videographer: £1,150

Catering (per head): £70

Hair & Make-up: £155

Save the date!

Now that you have realistically budgeted, have a rough idea on numbers, chosen your perfect venue and the beautiful ceremony you’d like, it’s time to send out that list of perfect potential wedding dates!

(See, I told you we’d be coming back to it!)

Fire those emails away to your chosen venue and ceremony provider, give them the list of dates you’ve chosen and wait.

With any luck, they will have at least one date they share availability on, and BOOM! There’s your date! Lock them in now!

If they don’t share any availability, it’s time to rinse and repeat and revisit your chosen date list for new ideas.

Wedding Insurance

If I had to choose one absolute must, it’s to insure your wedding!

If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that anything can happen. You never know when you’re going to be faced with a devastating uncertainty, so I would highly recommend protecting yourselves and your wedding investments for peace of mind.

And now the real fun can begin!

Wedding fairs & shows

Wedding shows/fairs are so worth going to! You get loads of freebies, endless inspiration for your wedding as well as meeting so many local vendors at your own pace. It’s basically like speed dating!

I frequent The Lincs Wedding Show, so be sure to come say hello to me if you see me!

Essential suppliers & Aimee’s recommendations

Now that the tricky bit is done, you have a totally blank canvas to work with, so it’s time to get creative! Remember the mood board you made earlier? A ha! Now you have all of those wonderful images at your disposal to send out to your suppliers to show them what you’re going for!

Research is really important so you understand exactly what’s included in the pricing; whether it’s rented or for keeps, how and when it will be delivered and who will set it all up for you.

Wedding photographers & videographers

The rumours are true, we do get booked up quickly, sometimes years in advance! But how do you choose the right person for the job? Where do you start when there are so many talented people, price variations, styles and packages to choose from?

Well, I’m glad you asked, as this is a section I have extensive knowledge in!

#1 Portfolio

Take a look at their past work, but I don’t just mean how pretty the pictures or videos are, look at really deeply at them – what emotions do they bring out? Are you smiling when you look at their work? Are you thinking ‘I want that for our day’? Do you want someone who plays it safe or gets creative? Someone who has a deep and dark style? Or perhaps a light and airy style?

Photographers: What do you see when you imagine your wedding photos in frames or on your wall?

Videographers: What kind of video content will you receive? Do you want a full film? A highlight video? Or both maybe? How long will the videos be?

#2 Website & social media

We’re not just looking at the images or videos here, what we’re looking for is their personality. How do they speak? Are they funny? Serious? Boring? Cliché? It’s important that their personality resonates with you as they’re going to be your professional third-wheel on the day!

#3 Service duration

Do you want someone there for the full day capturing every moment? Or would you prefer someone to just pop for an hour for some formal portraits after your ceremony?

#4 Turnaround time

This isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker, but turnaround time can be a contributing factor to some couples. If editing and delivery takes a while, would you feel anxious to know it had all come out ok? Or would you take comfort in knowing that they are taking their time with it? Ask your shortlisted creators what their turnaround time is and how soon you can expect some previews (but remember video editing takes a little longer than photo retouching!)

#5 Reviews

Quite possibly the most important tip here. Take a look at their reviews across various platforms, do they seem genuine? Do they have the work to back it up? In a world full of AI’s and bots, it can be hard to be sure whether you are looking at a real social media follower count and real reviews. Make sure the reviews match the work, if they only have one photo of each couple, it’s possible that they’re not showing their own work.

Wedding videographers

Suit boutiques

Wedding stationery

Wedding decor & venue dressing

Hair & Beauty

Private Celebrants

Wedding Cake Makers

Florists

Jewellers

Transport

Entertainment

Musicians

Catering, Snacks & sweet treats

It’s also worth at this point, making a note of your deposits and final balances. Every vendor will have their own payment deadline, so it’s a good idea to have a list of all of these figures and dates that you can refer to easily when you need to. You can also put reminders in the calendar on your phone!

There are so many amazing vendors in the Lincolnshire area alone, not to mention all of the online options, but I hope this gives you a decent head start in knowing where to look!

The Final Countdown

Pace yourself!

This is the point where your wedding may feel like a million years away, but it will come around really quickly! To make sure you don’t fall behind or feel overwhelmed, it’s really helpful to set yourself some short term goals to make sure everything is done with plenty of time to spare.

12 months to go

Book hotel rooms for your guests – this won’t be applicable to everyone, but it’s important to mention it for your guests that may be visiting from far away.

Create a wedding website – This is a great idea for your guests so they can pop on, check dates, times, locations and your gift registry etc. It’s also a good idea to make a unique wedding hashtag so people can get their photos to you easily.

Book an engagement photoshoot – This is a great way to get to know your photographer, make sure you’re comfortable in front of the camera and has the added bonus of keeping up the wedding excitement.

Start looking at invitations – They don’t need to go out just yet, but it’s a good idea to know what you’re looking for ahead of needing them so they can be ordered and ready for you to send when the time comes.

9 months to go

Buy your wedding dress –  Make an afternoon of it with the girls of your choosing and just really enjoy exploring all of the different styles.

Save the dates – It’s time to send out those ‘save the date’ cards! Make sure your guests have plenty of notice to keep your wedding date free in their schedules before the final invitations go out.

Register for gifts – Some people prefer cash, some prefer a surprise, others like to make a gift registry. It’s a good idea to have it ready so you can simply send out the link if someone asks what you’d like.

Bridesmaid dresses – It’s a good idea to do this sooner as it can take some time to find a style that everyone is comfortable with.

Wedding fairs – Hit the wedding fairs to meet vendors, grab some freebies and soak up some wedding inspiration!

6 months to go

Order your rental items – I’m talking chair covers, linens and candelabras etc.

Book your transport – You may have your wedding cars sorted, but this is the time so consider taxis home or mini-bus transfers for a large amount of guests!

Book your florist – Make sure you are pencilled into their diary with promises of sending them the designs and quantities you’d like as soon as they’re ready.

Honeymoon – If you are going on a honeymoon, now is the time to start making those plans before the wedding takes up most of your free time.

Suit rental/purchases – Time to get the boys to the menswear boutique for a try-on session!

3 months to go

Accessories – Start looking for your shoes, jewellery, veil, ties etc.

Book your taster session – Arrange a meal tasting session with your caterer and get a deeper idea of your wedding breakfast menu.

Book the wedding week off work – This may be an obvious one, but I’ve been to a wedding where the groom was back at work on Monday because he couldn’t get leave!

Favours & crafts – Start shopping for your wedding favours and crafts, or create them yourself if you’re feeling particularly creative!

Gifts – Purchase your thank you gifts for your bridesmaids, parents etc. If you’re getting the mums flowers, maybe ask your florist if they can deliver them with the wedding flowers. Don’t forget to buy for each other!

Vows – If you’re writing your own vows, make sure you send them to your registrar for pre-approval to avoid disappointment on the day.

Readings – If you’d like someone to do a reading during your ceremony, send them the passage so they have plenty of time to practice.

1 month to go

Final outfit fittings – It’s time to put your dress/suit on for the last time until you wear it for real! Make sure you schedule the collection dates into your calendar.

Final decorations – Have you thought of everything? Card box? Table cards? Ring cushion?

Music – Time to send your wedding playlist to your chosen musicians; let the church know your hymns, let the venue know your bridal entrance track and the band or DJ your first dance.

Final balances – Make sure you remember the deadlines for your vendor payments and to let them know if you are worried or facing any difficulty. They’d much rather you were honest and got in touch!

Final headcount – Tally up the RSVP’s and round up any stragglers or people you haven’t heard back from. Let your venue or caterer know the final numbers, menu options and remember to send the guest list to your seating chart and place card creators.

Plan your collection schedule – Who’s picking up the cake? When and where are the flowers being delivered? When will your place cards be ready to collect? Have those dates in your calendar!

2 weeks to go

Timeline – Confirm your wedding day timeline with your vendors so they can plan and operate accordingly! This includes everyone who has a job to do on the day.

Break in your shoes – Your wedding will be a very sore day if you’re in uncomfortable shoes, make sure you’re wearing them and breaking them in at home so you don’t have to miss out on the dancing!

Collect your outfits – Head back to the boutiques for the last time and collect your dresses and/or suits. It may be worth buying a small handheld steamer to pack just in case!

Plan your exit strategy – What’s it going to be? Staying overnight at your venue? Sparkler farewell? Make sure you’ve considered how your night is going to end (though hopefully not too soon!)

1 week to go

Practice your vows – Read your vows through a few times out loud so you’re well practiced and less worried about tripping over your words.

Make your emergency kit – Plasters, painkillers, sewing kit, heel grips, scissors, fan, make-up wipes (for clothing) etc.

Delegate – If there’s anything else to pick up or drop off, arrange for someone you trust to help you with this. You have enough on your plate as it is! Remember to ask someone to collect your cards, gifts and any flowers or decor you want to take home.

FINAL final headcount – There’ll likely be a couple of people you’re still waiting on, chase them up!

2 days to go

Letters – Why not write your spouse-to-be a card or note for them to read on the morning of your wedding.

Clean your engagement ring – Your engagement ring is going to be in a lot of photos, so it may be a good idea to give it a little polish!

Packing – Pack your overnight bags and honeymoon bags so they’re ready to grab when needed.

Manicure & pedicure – Go get those wedding-ready nails done and enjoy a little pamper!

1 day to go!

Chill – Yup, that’s it. Chill out. After all of your busy days and weeks leading up to tomorrow, chill out and enjoy some calm before the storm! Have a movie day, go for a massage or a walk together and just enjoy the excitement that tomorrow brings. Tomorrow is going to be a very tiring day, but everything is done now and you can relax and look forward to it.

The big day!

You made it! It’s here! The advice I have for the day is:

Enjoy it! Today is going to go so fast, just go with the flow and soak in every minute of the joy that surrounds you.

Don’t sweat the little things, don’t stress if there’s an extra guest that showed up or if a shirt button pops off, laugh it off and carry on!

Trust your vendors to do what they do best, you hired them so you don’t have to worry about those things.

Lean on your bridesmaids and groomsmen, don’t be afraid to ask them to help or do things.

After the wedding

Once the dress has been dry-cleaned, the cake has been eaten and life returns back to normal; it’s easy to get swept away by The Wedding Blues without even realising it.

Here are a few ideas to keep the wedding vibes going while you come back down to Earth at the pace that’s emotionally comfortable for you!

Dry & press your flowers

Create a wedding card frame

Design and send out ‘thank you’ notes

Print your photographs

Watch your wedding video

Read your guestbook

Settle into your newlywed nest

I hope it helped!

There are so many ways to plan a wedding but I really hope this helped you in at least one way! I wish you the very best for your journey to “I do”.

Thanks for reading! And remember to bookmark this page so you can refer back to it later.