Congratulations! You’re engaged! And if you’re reading this, then you’re probably wondering how to plan a wedding and are thinking ‘oh my word, where do we start?!’ Have no fear! I’m here to help. I wanted to create this step by step guide and share what I’ve learned as both a bride, and a wedding photographer to kickstart you on the right track.
How to Plan a Wedding
Who is Aimee and what does she know?
As I’m sure you’ve guessed, I’m Aimee Lince, professional third-wheel, at your service! I’ve held the hands of many nearly-weds on their journey to “I do” (metaphorically, not literally, that’d be a bit weird.)
With me you get so much more than a photographer! Part of my extended service is to support you throughout your entire planning process with regular check ins and lots of support, ideas and pro tips. We build up a bond ready for the big day, so it’s like having an old friend turning up to take your photos!
I always encourage my couples to lean on me throughout their entire journey and many of them do! I get asked all sorts of things from ‘is it weird for a bride to dance with her father?’ and ‘Do the bridesmaids need to have matching pyjamas?’
I’ve seen it all, cake tiers making a run for it, emergency tampon scavenger hunts, confetti cannons being fired backwards into the handler’s crotch, you name it! So I thought I’d put together an all-in-one guide for you nearly-weds!
A few quick facts
Couples are spending between 12-24 months planning their wedding.
The most popular month to get married was September!
Couples hired an average of 10 different vendors for their wedding.
You’re engaged!
Congratulations! Enjoy that feeling!
It’s so easy to get swept up in the excitement of wedding planning and I was totally the same! Your mind is flooded with so many ideas for the road ahead and everyone around you is asking “Do you have a date yet?” But your newly engaged bubble is an amazing place to be and I would lovingly advise you to ride that high for as long as you can!
There is no rush to plan, it’s important that you pace yourself and do things as and when you are both ready to dive in. Enjoy taking your time to meet up and share the news with your loved ones, maybe even celebrate with a dinner or an engagement party.
Engagement quick facts
The most popular month to get engaged was December.
%
62% of couples announced their engagement on social media.
The most common newlywed age group was 33-35.
You can even announce your news with photos from an engagement photoshoot – these are not only beautiful photo memories to have, but can also come in really handy for your wedding invitations and signage!
Wedding Planning Tools
There are loads of useful resources out there that function for wedding planning; Hitched and Bridebook are among the most popular apps to keep everything in one place.
Each app has different features, but they can help you connect all of the dots including suppliers you’ve been recommended, tracking your budget and even managing your guest list and RSVP’s.
Drafting your budget
We’ll go into finalising the budget later, but before you start making enquiries, it’s important for one of the early steps of planning a wedding to have a rough idea of your budget (aka, the amount you would like to stick to). It’s important to note that this is never going to be exact as suppliers can run promotions or increase prices at any time, so giving yourself a little flexibility around this figure either way is a good idea.
Shaping your theme
Before you start shopping for bridesmaid dresses or committing to a venue, it’s really important that you are totally in love with your theme or colour scheme and that all of the upcoming important decisions you’ll make can do it justice!
Creating a mood board is a great place to begin (especially if you’re uncertain on what you’d like!)
Wedding theme quick tips
Make a Pinterest board! It’s a great place to get ideas and when you see something you like simply ‘pin it’ to your virtual mood board. You can also upload your own pins so you can snap a quick pic and add it to the board!
If you’re contemplating several themes, make a board for each theme! You’ll soon realise which of the boards you are naturally drawn to the most.
Use keywords in your search, if you’re considering an Autumnal themed wedding, try ‘autumnal themed wedding cakes’ or ‘Autumn wedding inspiration’
Take a look at this example woodland themed wedding mood board I’ve put together just for you!
Shortlist some wedding dates
Out of everything that goes into planning a wedding, choosing a date is the trickiest part! There are so many things to consider:
- The weather and temperature
- Bank holidays and other significant dates
- Guest, celebrant and venue availability
- Vendor prices / your budget
- School / half terms
- Friends and family’s birthdays or anniversaries
The list goes on, but I promise, this is the hardest thing to coordinate, it gets much easier, take a deep breath and smile, you’re getting married! Draft a list of ‘safe dates’ that you would like and keep it somewhere safe, we’ll come back to this part shortly.
Personalising your ceremony
What are we thinking? Church ceremony with lots of hymns? An outdoor ceremony with a really personal service? Or all under one roof with a council registrar? The choice really is up to you!
Religious Ceremonies
You’ll meet with the relevant officiant for your religion and chosen church who will go through the religious ceremony with you, offering you choices where relevant (such as which hymns you’d like or whether you’d like church bells ringing as you exit). You’ll also have to have your banns read (Church of England) but the church kindly take care of that for you and invite you to attend the 3-6 Sunday services where they are read starting 3 months before the wedding.
Civil Ceremonies
You can have a civil ceremony at a registry office or any other venue approved by the local council for that venue. For example, if you live in Immingham but you want to get married in Scunthorpe, you will need to make arrangements with the Scunthorpe Registry Office. A civil ceremony will give you the option to write your own vows and read them before you choose the version of the official vows you would like. They will also permit readings, but they need to approve the content beforehand!
Private Celebrants
You can choose to hire any professional celebrant for your official wedding ceremony. This will give you the freedom to tailor every single aspect of your ceremony so it just screams your personalities, however not all celebrants can legalise a marriage and you may also need to go to the registry office too, so be sure to ask the question!
Writing your guest list
This doesn’t need to be finalised yet! But you should absolutely have a rough idea on your numbers before moving onto your budget and venue plan.
Quick guest fact
The average wedding guest list was 81 people.
The
Wedding Party
(And I don’t mean the food and booze!) – I’m talking about anyone who has a role in your wedding; bridesmaids, groomsmen, page boys, flower girls, best men/women, maids of honour, parents and witnesses.
The
‘Must Haves’
These are the people you absolutely cannot imagine your wedding day without (that aren’t already in The Wedding Party!). This also includes the parents of any little ones in The Wedding Party.
The
‘Want to Haves’
This bit may sound a little harsh, but this section is for the people who you really want to have there providing the budget permits it. Many people choose to invite these people to the evening reception only, others budget to invite everyone to the full day!
Keep these figures to hand by section and it will be much easier to finalise your expected costs. It’s also handy to bring your list when you view potential wedding venues.
It’s also a good shout to keep people who know each other or would get along near each other; as this will make creating your seating plan much easier later on!
Choosing your wedding party
First and foremost, this is obviously, your choice! But I want to weigh in here and provide some advice based on the many weddings I’ve been lucky to be a part of.
Less is more
Weddings who have loads of bridesmaids and groomsmen have a higher chance of things becoming complicated on the day! My advice is to choose 2-3 of your closest people if you can to keep a calmer pre-wedding environment. It also helps with the hair, make-up, dress, shoes and suit costs!
No one is entitled
It is your day! You’re not obligated to choose specific people to be a part of your wedding party. Choose the people who you want, not who you ‘should have’ and not who anyone else thinks you should have. Have your Nanna be the flower girl if that’s what you want, I bet she’d do an amazing job!
Think about the vibe
Do you want a party who will hype things up or help keep things relaxed? Choose people you 100% know you can depend on to have your back and who won’t let you down on the day. Choose people who will actually help you plan, be reliable to throw your stag or hen for you and who know it’s your day, not theirs!
Finalising your budget
I know, it’s an icky subject, but it’s really important to discuss this with your partner and set realistic expectations to avoid unnecessary stress later on. Some people take out loans to comfortably repay over time, others prefer to save up and then book, some work overtime and others look at the amount they can save each month and calculate how much they can afford over various timeframes.
It’s hard knowing exactly how much you’re going to need for your dream wedding; but if all of the quotes you are getting are out of budget; then unfortunately it’s the budget that needs adjusting! It may be a good idea to give yourself some more time between now and the wedding or look at trimming things back a little.
Budget quick facts
%
59% of newlyweds went over their original budget.
%
65% of couples spent over £15.000 planning their wedding.
%
70% of couples received budget money from family & friends.
It’s important to remember that your wedding day is about what makes you happy, not about how much you spend! No one is going to mind whether the groom’s suit was hired or how much your rings cost, but they will remember the emotion, the food, the booze and the good times!
Shortlisting wedding venues
Now that we’ve covered everything they’re likely to ask you, it’s time to scout some venues!
I’m 99.9% sure your venue is going to be the single biggest expense of your wedding. Your venue is where you, your families and friends will share this wonderful occasion together.
It’s a great idea to browse as many as you can, and schedule a visit to the ones that make you feel ‘WOW!’ while looking at their websites or social pages.
When you go, you’ll meet with the venue’s extremely helpful wedding planner whom I’m sure will be thrilled to show you around and answer any questions you may have. It’s like when you’re looking for a new home, if you find the one, you’ll know.
Venue quick tips
While looking around, hold each others hand! If you think the venue is ‘the one’, give their hand a squeeze. If they give you a squeeze back, they love it too, if they don’t, at least you know!
Ask for a brochure from each venue, that way you’ll have a handy guide and a pricing list for each of the places you’ve visited! You can even add your own notes to them while being shown around.
Take a look at their social media pages for photos of other couples, can you picture yourselves there on your big day? Does the space compliment your theme?
Questions to ask potential venues
How many guests can you accommodate for? (Ceremony, wedding breakfast & evening reception)
Are their rooms available to get ready in? How big are they?
Can you show us the photograph locations? Is there a back-up location in case it rains?
Do you have children’s, vegan and vegetarian menu options?
Is catering included? Is it priced per head or packages?
Would you allow us to have fireworks/sparklers on the grounds?
Save the date!
Now that you have realistically budgeted, have a rough idea on numbers, chosen your perfect venue and the beautiful ceremony you’d like, it’s time to send out that list of perfect potential wedding dates! (See, I told you we’d be coming back to it!)
Fire those emails away to your chosen venue and ceremony provider, give them the list of dates you’ve chosen and wait.
With any luck, they will have at least one date they share availability on, and BOOM! There’s your date! Lock them in now! If they don’t share any availability, it’s time to rinse and repeat and revisit your chosen date list for new ideas until you find one that works for you.
Wedding insurance
If I had to choose one absolute must, it’s to insure your wedding!
If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that anything can happen. You never know when you’re going to be faced with a devastating uncertainty, so I would highly recommend protecting yourselves and your wedding investments for peace of mind.
You can easily browse quotes for wedding cover on websites like Go Compare.
Booking your suppliers
Now that your date, ceremony time and venue are all sorted; you can go forward with confidence and enjoy making these supplier enquiries and getting to know the people who will be putting your faith in to bring your vision to life!
Remember the mood board you made earlier? A ha! Now you have all of those wonderful images at your disposal to send out to your suppliers to show them what you’re going for!
Research is really important so you understand exactly what’s included in the pricing; whether it’s rented or for keeps, how and when it will be delivered and who will set it all up for you. There are lots of amazing suppliers out there who between them will be able to help you have your wedding exactly how you want it.
Supplier quick tips
Check out their portfolio, reviews and recommendations from other couples.
Browse their style to see if it compliments the vibe you’re looking for.
Meet with them for a chat or arrange a video call to make sure you get a reliable/trustworthy vibe from them.
Make a note of your total quote, deposit and payment deadline. You can even ask about payment plans if you need to.
Ask for a written copy of your order or invoice so everyone is on the same page about what’s been agreed.
Make a note of the turnaround or delivery time; or dates you need to return rented items.
Wedding Photographers
Book your photographer as soon as you can after booking your wedding! The rumours are true, we do get booked up quickly, sometimes years in advance; and unlike other suppliers such as florists, photobooths or venue dressers; we can only work on one wedding per date.
This doesn’t mean you need to panic and choose the first ‘tog you find available! Most of us are more than happy to soft hold a date for a week or so to allow you to make your decision with confidence.
But how do you choose the right person for the job? Where do you start when there are so many talented people, price variations, styles and packages to choose from?
Get to know them! Read their reviews, see what other couples said about having them there on their day or arrange a chat. This person is going to be your second shadow on the day so it’s important you ‘click’! (heh)
What is their personal approach? Do they document or do they dominate? Will it be staged or genuine? Would they vibe well with your wedding party? Only you can decide which is right for you.
Check out their portfolio! Asking a photographer to explain their editing style won’t do their work justice. A picture is worth a thousand words, so go check out those portfolios as you’ll get a way better idea of what they can do.
Working with me
I am a wedding photographer who also offers hybrid photo-video coverage! Hybrid is where I alternate between photo and video all day to give you a stunning gallery and an emotional highlight video!
My style is quite earthy and natural, I shoot completely candidly except for the family portraits and I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve to get those genuine smiles from my couples (because they’re so much nicer than posed smiles!)
I’ve been published in wedding magazines which you can find here; and I’ve even won awards which you can browse here. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy!
To check if I’m available on your date, visit the contact page!
If I do happen to be unavailable for your special day, I do have a list of other local photographers who I would also highly recommend looking into.
Lincolnshire Wedding Supplier ‘Speed Dial!’
Here is my own personal favourite supplier list for when couples ask me; these are all people/businesses I’ve worked with multiple times and would be glad to recommend.
Cake Makers
Celebrants
Entertainment
Hair & Make-up
Jewellers
Musicians
Transport
Venues
Videographers
It’s also worth at this point, making a note of your deposits and final balances. Every vendor will have their own payment deadline, so it’s a good idea to have a list of all of these figures and dates that you can refer to easily when you need to. You can also put reminders in the calendar on your phone!
There are so many amazing vendors in the Lincolnshire area alone, not to mention all of the online options, but I hope this gives you a decent head start in knowing where to look!
Crossing the T’s
With everything booked and sorted, it’s time to move onto the logistical decisions of your day. Picture your day from start to finish, go through each step and make some notes of the whos, whats, wheres and whens!
Here’s a few examples:
Choose your music for your ceremony & first dance. You’ll need three songs for your ceremony; your aisle walk, signing the register and exit walk.
Make your wedding party decisions, such as who is doing a speech, a reading and which order everyone will be walking down the aisle.
Who will be looking after the kids and getting them ready? Be sure to keep your pre-wedding area as calm and stress-free as possible!
Who will be your collector? For cards, gifts, leftover cake etc. Make sure you ask someone ahead of time so they can make sure they have time and space!
The Final Countdown – Checklists
Pace yourself
This is the point where your wedding may feel like a million years away, but it will come around really quickly! To make sure you don’t fall behind or feel overwhelmed, it’s really helpful to set yourself some short term goals to make sure everything is done with plenty of time to spare.
12 months to go
Book hotel rooms for your guests – this won’t be applicable to everyone, but it’s important to mention it for your guests that may be visiting from far away.
Create a wedding website – This is a great idea for your guests so they can pop on, check dates, times, locations and your gift registry etc. It’s also a good idea to make a unique wedding hashtag so people can get their photos to you easily.
Book an engagement photoshoot – This is a great way to get to know your photographer, make sure you’re comfortable in front of the camera and has the added bonus of keeping up the wedding excitement.
Start looking at invitations – They don’t need to go out just yet, but it’s a good idea to know what you’re looking for ahead of needing them so they can be ordered and ready for you to send when the time comes.
Book the wedding week off work – This may be an obvious one, but I’ve been to a wedding where the groom was back at work on Monday because he couldn’t get leave!
9 months to go
Buy your wedding dress – Make an afternoon of it with the girls of your choosing and just really enjoy exploring all of the different styles.
Save the dates – It’s time to send out those ‘save the date’ cards! Make sure your guests have plenty of notice to keep your wedding date free in their schedules before the final invitations go out.
Register for gifts – Some people prefer cash, some prefer a surprise, others like to make a gift registry. It’s a good idea to have it ready so you can simply send out the link if someone asks what you’d like.
Bridesmaid dresses – It’s a good idea to do this sooner as it can take some time to find a style that everyone is comfortable with.
Wedding fairs – Hit the wedding fairs to meet vendors, grab some freebies and soak up some wedding inspiration!
6 months to go
Order your rental items – I’m talking chair covers, linens and candelabras etc.
Book your transport – You may have your wedding cars sorted, but this is the time so consider taxis home or mini-bus transfers for a large amount of guests!
Book your florist – Make sure you are pencilled into their diary with promises of sending them the designs and quantities you’d like as soon as they’re ready.
Honeymoon – If you are going on a honeymoon, now is the time to start making those plans before the wedding takes up most of your free time.
Suit rental/purchases – Time to get the boys to the menswear boutique for a try-on session!
3 months to go
Accessories – Start looking for your shoes, jewellery, veil, ties etc.
Book your taster session – Arrange a meal tasting session with your caterer and get a deeper idea of your wedding breakfast menu.
Favours & crafts – Start shopping for your wedding favours and crafts, or create them yourself if you’re feeling particularly creative!
Gifts – Purchase your thank you gifts for your bridesmaids, parents etc. If you’re getting the mums flowers, maybe ask your florist if they can deliver them with the wedding flowers. Don’t forget to buy for each other!
Vows – If you’re writing your own vows, make sure you send them to your registrar for pre-approval to avoid disappointment on the day.
Readings – If you’d like someone to do a reading during your ceremony, send them the passage so they have plenty of time to practice.
1 month to go
Final outfit fittings – It’s time to put your dress/suit on for the last time until you wear it for real! Make sure you schedule the collection dates into your calendar.
Final decorations – Have you thought of everything? Card box? Table cards? Ring cushion?
Music – Time to send your wedding playlist to your chosen musicians; let the church know your hymns, let the venue know your bridal entrance track and the band or DJ your first dance.
Final balances – Make sure you remember the deadlines for your vendor payments and to let them know if you are worried or facing any difficulty. They’d much rather you were honest and got in touch!
Final headcount – Tally up the RSVP’s and round up any stragglers or people you haven’t heard back from. Let your venue or caterer know the final numbers, menu options and remember to send the guest list to your seating chart and place card creators.
Plan your collection schedule – Who’s picking up the cake? When and where are the flowers being delivered? When will your place cards be ready to collect? Have those dates in your calendar!
2 Weeks to go
Timeline – Confirm your wedding day timeline with your vendors so they can plan and operate accordingly! This includes everyone who has a job to do on the day.
Break in your shoes – Your wedding will be a very sore day if you’re in uncomfortable shoes, make sure you’re wearing them and breaking them in at home so you don’t have to miss out on the dancing!
Collect your outfits – Head back to the boutiques for the last time and collect your dresses and/or suits. It may be worth buying a small handheld steamer to pack just in case!
Plan your exit strategy – What’s it going to be? Staying overnight at your venue? Sparkler farewell? Make sure you’ve considered how your night is going to end (though hopefully not too soon!)
1 Week to go
Practice your vows – Read your vows through a few times out loud so you’re well practiced and less worried about tripping over your words.
Make your emergency kit – Plasters, painkillers, sewing kit, heel grips, scissors, fan, make-up wipes (for clothing) etc.
Delegate – If there’s anything else to pick up or drop off, arrange for someone you trust to help you with this. You have enough on your plate as it is! Remember to ask someone to collect your cards, gifts and any flowers or decor you want to take home.
FINAL final headcount – There’ll likely be a couple of people you’re still waiting on, chase them up!
2 days to go
Letters – Why not write your spouse-to-be a card or note for them to read on the morning of your wedding.
Clean your engagement ring – Your engagement ring is going to be in a lot of photos, so it may be a good idea to give it a little polish!
Packing – Pack your overnight bags and honeymoon bags so they’re ready to grab when needed.
Manicure & pedicure – Go get those wedding-ready nails done and enjoy a little pamper!
1 day to go!
Chill – Yup, that’s it. Chill out. After all of your busy days and weeks leading up to tomorrow, everything is done! So chill out together and enjoy your very last day as an engaged couple! Have a movie day, go for a massage or a walk together and just enjoy the excitement that tomorrow brings. Tomorrow is going to be a very tiring day, but everything is done now and you can relax and look forward to it.
The Big Day!
You made it! It’s here! The only advice I have for the day is:
Enjoy it! Today is going to go so fast, just go with the flow and soak in every minute of the joy that surrounds you.
Don’t sweat the little things, don’t stress if there’s an extra guest that showed up or if a shirt button pops off, someone will help take care of it, laugh it off and carry on!
Trust your vendors to do what they do best, you hired them so you don’t have to worry about those things.
Lean on your bridesmaids and groomsmen, don’t be afraid to ask them to help or to do things.
Coming back down to Earth
Once the dress has been dry-cleaned, the cake has been eaten and life returns back to normal; it’s easy to get swept away by The Wedding Blues without even realising it.
Here are a few ideas to keep the wedding vibes going while you come back down to Earth at the pace that’s emotionally comfortable for you!
Dry & press your flowers
Create a wedding card frame
Design and send out ‘thank you’ notes
Order your photo prints
Watch your wedding video
Read your guestbook
I really hope I helped!
There are so many ways to plan a wedding but I really hope this helped you in at least one way! Remember that it’s all for you both to decide as a couple however you want your wedding to go.
I put a lot of effort into this guide, so if it helped you, please let me know! I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks for reading! And remember to bookmark this page so you can refer back to it later.
